Something Pink: Almost a True Story by Pami Simpson

Author:Pami Simpson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: BookBaby
Published: 2017-10-23T14:08:57+00:00

Chapter 16

“Please Jason! Pretty, pretty, please!”

“No! You’ve got to be kidding me. There is absolutely no way in hell I am dressing up as a giant yellow sponge!”

I hang on to my cell phone as if for dear life, pleading into the receiver.

“But you have to! I don’t have anyone else who can do it. I can’t hire anyone; I don’t have enough money. And that woman left poor Lola with nothing for her birthday and I can’t let her be disappointed. Please?”

“You’ve actually resorted to begging? For people who could afford to buy my whole life twenty times over?” I can hear Jason is trying really hard to take a moral stand, but isn’t immune to my persuasion.

“I’ll steal if I have to,” I say darkly. “Don’t force me to become a criminal.”

I decide to leave my conversation with Alak out completely. No need to let Jason know I called him, and he was more than willing to put some cash in my bank account for the party. I didn’t want to go overboard, though, so I only asked for money to pay for the materials I’m going to need to make decorations, a wonderful cake, and money to rent the SpongeBob SquarePants costumes.

“Pleeeeeeaaase, Jason!”

“Why don’t you do it? It’s your party. You dress up and parade around like an idiot!”

“I can’t! They know my voice; they’ll know I’m not the real SpongeBob.”

“These girls will know it’s not ‘the real SpongeBob’ no matter who’s in the suit. There is no real SpongeBob!”

I gasp at Jason as if he’s just broken the news to me that Father Christmas isn’t real.

“Why don’t you get your fake boyfriend to do it?”

“Ugh. Please don’t bring that up.” Jason’s reasoning did get through to me and I realized I should not be leading Ryan on till I was sure of how I felt. But I kept on putting off having a talk with him, and then he went and sent me a “girlfriend” request on Facebook. I mean, isn’t that a bit presumptuous? We’re hanging out, not dating. Well, not since that night. I’ve been busy. Troy hasn’t helped matters either, and has been eagerly provoking the cupid mania in him, making sure he doesn’t give up on me even though I hardly see him. But in a twisted way, I’m starting to get used to having Ryan as part of my life. I answer his messages now, and strangely, we have some very pleasant conversations. As if we were friends. It’s just when he starts trying to add some kind of cutesie thing in that I remember I’m supposedly dating the guy and need to end it. But it’s so ridiculous! I mean, a fake break-up for a fake boyfriend?

“Jason, you do the perfect impersonation of his voice,” I say, trying to get back to the point. “You would be such a great SpongeBob.”

“I knew I should never have showed you that. Damn tequila!”

Jason listens to my pleading a while longer, and I can almost see his arms folded resolutely across his chest.

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